Happy Hour Bizzaro

April 7th, 2006 by smoop



5 great iPhotos

Originally uploaded by Monatopia.

So, last week has to be one of the best happy hours on record. Really. The movie “The Subject is Sex” was amazingly entertaining, as was the “theater” at OddBall Films. They are showing part two this week if you haven’t planned something else fabulous with your friday. You can email them at info@oddballfilms.com to RSVP and get directions. Arm yourself with a bottle of wine and prepare to be overly entertained.

If you are looking for someplace for dinner beforehand, try Experimental Thai in the back of Benders. It was indeed, experimental and a very San Francisco experience.

After leaving OddBall, we wandered the Mission in search of a bar without a line of yuppies out the door freezing in the cold (Majool) or 12year olds with fake ID’s (Beauty Bar). Surprisingly enough it was hard to find. Thank Gawd for Doc’s Clock. It was an evening filled with stalkers with roses and cock-ring hawking drag queens. And that was after the bestiality and japanese go go girls from the film.

And just in case you were wondering, cock rings will not fit over your head no matter how much you think they might stretch.

It truly was a fun filled night.

This week the madness is continuing. Perhaps even picking up speed. I’ve been up in Portland all week doing some intensive research into bars for this weeks Happy Hour. I’m thinking it has to be Mary’s near downtown. It’s a bit of a dive. They have small cocktails, but they are cheap and decent. The music was eclectic and a bit loud. And unfortunately they do allow smoking. There is no food.

WHY do I like this bar? Why am I thinking about relocating to Portland so I can go to this bar every night? Because they have a contortionist stripper.

Oh. Didn’t I mention that it’s a strip club? Yeah. It is. Not anything like the clubs in San Francisco where there is a cover charge and twice as many strippers as patrons all trying to suck your wallet dry through what ever means necessary. This is a dive bar. Just happens to have hot hot hot girls taking there cloths off on a little stage. It’s like the free peanuts you find in some dive bars. Only.. better. Much much better. And if it’s good enough for Sean Penn, it’s good enough for me. Yes. Really. Sean Penn was there to see the contortionist stripper too. Then… he stole my girl. I would have shared! No sign of Robin Wright Penn. I would have shared her too.

Of course, we will also have to check out Devil’s Point. I heard they are supposed to have Stripper Karaoke that night. And there’s still the matter of getting dinner and a decent drink. Who knows where that will happen. So, it you are in Portland this weekend, you might want to give us a call.

If you still need to have a Happy Hour in SF, and I know you do, feel free to join Melani and friends at Ottimista Enoteca Cafe – 1838 Union St. Looks like a cool Italian style wine bar. She’ll be there 6:30ish friday the 7th.

(http://www.yelp.com/biz/1bmwcHf3pJeqwia9aK94Kg)

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