So Hungry We Could Eat a Whale!

October 22nd, 2005 by smoop

Maid Cafe

Originally uploaded by Monatopia.

Akihabara. Electronics. Oh My God Electronics. CES with stairs. Electronics we didn’t know existed that now we can’t live without.

Searching for a Maid Cafe. From what we read, they should have been everywhere. And perhaps they were. We only saw one maid and she didn’t speak any English. The card she gave us was either a map or a Rorschach test. Maids on one side, something that could have been a map on the other, but there didn’t seem to be any street names on it in kanji or romanji. Even the Japanese people we asked to hep us find the way had a hard time telling us how to get there. In the end, there was just too much for us to look at to continue to waste time looking for it.

In other words, while walking in the direction we thought we needed to go we saw CosPlay costumes in the back of a DVD store and were completely and utterly distracted by what we found when we got there. For those who don’t know what CosPlay is – and I would be surprised if any of you (aside from Tim) knew – it involves very detailed anime costumes. These are not your average halloween costumes either. These are full on costumes, with – all the bells and whistles. I would be entirely too taken with myself if I were to put one on to actually have sex in it. They were too small for me. Damn tiny Japanese girls.

Next to the CosPlay costumes there were panties in plastic bags with a picture of a girl wearing them staples to the outside. We didn’t get any of those either.

Next to that where about 100 pin-up-ish DVD’s of women in various states of bikini wear.

Next to that was a japanese man offering us a 100 yen coupon to use upstairs where there was… more porn. And another floor. And another. 6 floors later… Fetishes we didn’t know existed. Fetishes we WISHED we didn’t know existed.

I feel so normal. So disappointingly normal.

Then off to check out the local department store. 8 HUGE floors of department store – all electronics/ appliances/ music. Best Buy on MSG. And steroids. And really really really strong coffee. America is so behind in refrigerator technology it makes me sad. We are so far behind in toilet technology it makes me want to cry. Not the hole in the ground, Japanese style, but the “Western style.” I’m not sure where in the west we have heated seats, sounds, fans, showers, temperatures settings, etc.

And why do our waffle makers only only make waffles with squares on them and not cartoons.

Suddenly it’s 9pm. Looking for someplace to eat. Feet and lower back hurt so much I can barely move. Have been walking for 12 hours straight. Too tired to figure out a Japanese menu, but being in Japan.. we have no choice. Finally find a wonderful beautiful traditional Japanese restaurant with a partially English menu on the 7th floor. Semi-private room. We ate whale. Sashimi plate with beautiful wooden stakes with the names of the fish on it. Or at least that what we think was on it. Uni, Maguro and Tai. Maybe.

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