Archive for the ‘Happy Hour’ Category

Happy Hour: Thievery

Sunday, November 12th, 2006

So, last week was Date Night at Rohan.  We sat gazing dreamily into each others cocktails.  We caught up and laughed and snacked and drank and snacked… and drank.. and drank… and… forgot to snack… and started out the door realizing we had just sat and talked for several hours and been so taken with Date Night that we had forgotten to actually eat.  Luckily Nizario’s beckoned from across Geary street.

Mmm… Drunken Nizario’s…. There may be no better food on the planet.

And yes, you read that right.  We walked from Rohan, straight to Nizario’s drawn like fat drunken moths to the flame.  It truly was a walk of shame and I really should keep it to myself.

But too late.

Anyhoo… this week we will be having a Cocktail Confidential Scotchday (birthday to those of you who are new here) celebration for Bill Schuch at Whiskey Thieves!

Whiskey Thieves
839 Geary Street @ Hyde between NoParkingNoWhere St and Tranny Hooker Blvd.

After we get our drink on I was thinking about heading two blocks up Geary through two of the most exciting and colorful blocks of San Francisco to Nile Cafe.  I have a busy week and will probably not have time to pick up anything for Bill’s birthday, so if anyone wants to go in with me on a tranny ho, we can easily pick one up on the way.  Actually, it may be hard to get there without picking one up.

Nile Cafe
544 Jones Street @ Geary across from CrackHoSleepingWhileStanding Way

Happy Hour is Friday at 6:30.  Yes.  This Friday the 10th. No, really. I know!  Two weeks in a row!  And no, you don’t need to know Bill to join us.

Happy Hour Date Night

Friday, November 3rd, 2006

We’ve been working too hard for too long.  Heads always in our computers intent on all the super duper important stuff we need to get done.  No quality time at all.   We’ve been too busy for you and we know that has caused a riff, and a lot of lonely drinking. We  know that relationships are hard work.  They take time and energy.  And cocktails.

This relationship of should be no different.

So… Tonight.  You. Me. Date night.  Lots of processing.   Probably a few tears (of laughter).  Wear something pretty for me will you?

Where:Rohan Lounge
When: Tonight. 6:30. Ish.
Why:  Do I need to go over this again?

Happy Hour: Twenty Questions

Sunday, September 10th, 2006

OK.  Really only two.

First: Who out there likes Survivor?  We will be hosting Survivor night here at The Embassy starting this Thursday.  I know I’ve talked to several of you about the dirty backstabbing excitement that is Thursday  Night reality TV, too many cocktails and a feeble mind prevent me from remembering who it was though.


Drop me an email if you would like to join us.  Don’t worry.  It’s like AA.  We won’t tell anyone who we see there.

Second: Who likes Suicide Girls this Friday?  We will be heading to The Independent this Friday night to see the Suicide Girls  (!  WooHoo!  Last time we went to see them we were late and only saw Courtney Love’s Panties.  This time we Will Not Be Late.  To facilite the not being late, we will have snacks and warm up cocktails at Tsunami Sushi.

We will be there from 6:30 until 8:30ish, but leave well before 9.

I will not be stuck, once again, looking at Courtney Love’s Panties when I wanted to see Suicide Girl Panties.  It’s just not the same.

Bombshell Betty Dance Presents!

Friday, September 8th, 2006
Bombshell Betty Dance Presents!
Anyone wanna go with me?  I’m a Burlesquersize Drop Out, so may need to  sit in the back hiding behind a fake mustache, but even so – it should be fun.

Happy Hour: What The Hell You Mean I Need To Check My Scotch?!

Saturday, September 2nd, 2006

Passed Out Drunk

Originally uploaded by Monatopia.

OK. Just kidding on the hiatus thing. We need to go out. We are trying hard to save for a house… so we deciided he best way to to that was to fly to LA and try real hard to save for a house with Frankie and Jody… which means we will probably fail miserably.

Last week… actually, no one will want to hear about last week. We worked hard all week and hadn’t seen each other so we spent the evening in.

Looking at each other. Ahhh… isn’t he cute!

Told you you didn’t want to hear about last week.

How about if I tell you about last night instead. When we arrived at the airport, I had to explain to Scott that the whole “no liquids on a plane” thing was NOT just a Daily Show skit and that he did indeed need to check the big ole bottle of Scotch we were bringing Frankie, not to mention my bag which was half shoes and half bath products, all of which could be considered weapons by airline security at this point.

Snakes on a plane. OK. Bottled water on a plane. Not ok. Scotch on a plane? Nope.

And since it took about 4 minutes per person to get through security, I’m thinking maybe it should have been explained to a few more people. Especially to the women in front of my who was trying to take containers of juice through security and while forgetting to take her laptop out of her backpack. There were actually several things I wanted to explain to her. Like, how it was because of people like her that I got to the airport over an hour early and still almost missed my plane.

Upon arrival Frankie and Jody took us to a place Which We Can Not Name, not because we don’t know the name – cos we do – but because we need to all we can to hide the identity of the horrible “musicians” which we saw there. And plus, you’re not really missing much if you don’t search this place out, and trust, me, you would need to search it out.

Frankie’s band was going on last, so we had the joy of watching the “I Wrote This When I Was Freshmen In High School In 1972 And I’m Still Singing It To You” acoustic set, then the “I’m Too Young To Be In A Bar So I’m Going To Dress In My Grandma’s Dress To Make Myself Look More Mature And Sing Real Pretty While My Creepy *Much* Older Boyfriend Plays The Keyboards Behind Me” duet.

Frankie had to leave the room while muttering something about slitting UP, not across his wrist.

After I received my “cosmo”, I was muttering the same thing.

The band Frankie was playing with was great! ESPECIALLY after being tormented to the tunes of “Be My Angel In The Clouds” and “Stop It, Stop It Now, You’re Killing Me.” I think that even if we had seen Frankie’s band without that prep we would have liked it. Nothing was written by freshmen in high school, nothing was written in 1972, everyone was old enough to be in the bar and wearing their own clothes, oh, and they rocked!

Tonight we are off to “It used to be Flints” which is down the street from Frankie and Jody’s. Here’s Frankie’s invite:

In order to kick off the weekend properly, I’m proposing a happy hour
at the Santa Monica Bar & Grill tomorrow from 5:30-7. So, technically
a happy-hour-and-a-half. That’s how happy it is. Why are we so happy?
Because my brother Scott and his vivacious girlfriend Mona will be
visiting from San Francisco.

After 7, anyone who’s interested can stumble with us down to violet, a
very hip and tasty American tapas restaurant a block or two from the
Santa Monica Bar & Grill (formerly 310, formerly Flint’s, formerly the
Alligator Lounge, on Pico West of Centinella). violet is medium
spendy, as you can tell from the lack of capitalization, but it’s

Cocktail Confidential seems to be on a bit of a hiatus

Monday, August 21st, 2006

It’s not on purpose, but we are on a budget trying to save for a down payment.  Having a house would be fabulous, but damn is it putting a crimp in our sassy style! We have learned a few things in this time of drought.  Movies are also ‘spensive.  Cheap wine is bad.  Neflix is our friend.

It’s the first time in my life I would actually get excited to get a wedding invite, you know, for the open bar.  Of course, with our luck, we would get invited to one in Vegas or some shit and not be able to fit the airfare to the open bar in our budget.  Instead, we keep getting invited to baby showers and NONE of them have had an open bar.

One last thing, since we are not drinking very much, and you hear about all the empty calories are in alcohol, why, oh why have we not lost any weight?

Happy Hour with Dave Attell

Thursday, July 20th, 2006

Dave Attell

Originally uploaded by Monatopia.

OK. Last week was a little weird. The girls went off to Kabuki and tried for the life of themselves to maintain eye contact while the boys went off to their respective bunks, I mean baseball game. After several hours of lounging in hot water, exfoliating, deep conditioning and gossiping, we poured ourselves out the door and oozed through the surreal splendor that is Japantown after dark, ate WAY too much at the Japanese place I always forget the name of then hiked up to Dot, our favorite little hotel bar that is always guaranteed to be empty. Except that night. That night there was a HUGE line of hipster Japanese kids waiting to get in. We have no idea why.

So, off to Kansai, our favorite little sushi joint with a bar that is always guaranteed to be empty. Except that night. That night there were at least 6 people in there. And one of them was singing Japanese opera karaoke style in a voice so big I have no idea how it came out of that tiny little 4 foot high body. There was no way to fit the 12 of us and that sound in the bar, so off we wandered.

So once you cross the hotel bar of the list, and then the karaoke bars, what’s left in Japantown after dark? That’s right, Hostess Bars. The first hostess bar was too expensive. The second one was too scary. *shudder* The third hostess bar was just not right, but in a way that made us happy. They made us mediocre drinks and parked us at a big table where we could watch the mystical magical workings which seemed to include lots of cute asian girls hanging on every word of a bunch of older guys, then getting up and changing chairs. It was sorta like watching a game of musical chairs, except the rewards were cocktails and a copped feel instead of cupcakes. There was also some mystery involving a back room. Hmm….

I seriously doubt this week will be nearly as entertaining, but we’re going to try. First, Indian Food at an Irish Pub, ( at 6pm, the off to Cobb’s Comedy Club ( just before 8pm so I can be reunited with Dave Attell.

6pm Kennedy’s (
1040 Columbus Avenue @ Francisco

8pm Cobb’s @ Lombard (
915 Columbus Avenue

10pm errr… this is when we should probably go home and go to bed. But we wont. We’ll be drunk and WAYYY too close to North Beach for that!

If you want to join us for Dave Attell, purchase tickets soon! We have tickets to the 8pm show, this friday the 21st.

Happy Hour: Where The Girls Are

Friday, July 14th, 2006


Originally uploaded by Monatopia.

Last week at Rye was great. We arrived early and scored a nice spot in the back with a view of the smoking cage. Yes, Rye puts the smokers in a cage. Quite entertaining. Not actually as entertaining as being able to sit in it the great out doors and have a cocktail without choking on second hand smoke, but it will do or the time being. We enjoyed a basil gimlets and some catch up time with our out of town guests while watching the people in the cage. As entertaining as that was, dinner stole the show.

After a bit we snuck across the street to Kim Thanh, the most amazing vietnamese seafood restaurant. The rearranged the entire front of the restaurant to seat the 10 of us and immediately started bringing the most detectible treats; crab cooked in ginger and onions, salt and pepper shrimp and crispy quail. The quail looked like large deep fried bugs and we all drew back in unison when it was placed on the table. One taste though and we sucking those delicate little bug bones clean and thinking about ordering more. Since we had already ordered about one of everything on the menu, we held back. And still, the bill came to $25 a piece including tip. It was a dinner we are still talking about a week later.

Hmmm… I wonder if they are open for lunch.

Anyway, this Friday we are having a split Happy Hour. The girls are going to Kabuki Hot Springs Geary at Fillmore. ( There is parking in Japan Town and you can get validated at the spa. You can also get your parking stub validated. Fridays are girls nights so no, you don’t need to bring a suit, and no, you can’t bring your boyfriend. You can bring conditioner for your hair as well as face masques and that sort of thing. We will be leaving about 8:30 or 9pm to find sushi in Japan Town. Arrive as early as you think you need to to properly detox in the hot tubs. Actually, that means I should head over about noon, but realistically will be heading over at 6pm. I guess I’ll only be mostly detoxed. They only let a small amount of people in at a time to make sure it’s not crowded, so bring a book, grab a cup of tea and plan on the waiting in the lobby 30 minutes or so to get in.

Scott will be heading to a baseball game to see The Giants vs The Phillies and think about Where The Girls Are. Contact him if you want to join him for that madness. The game starts at 7:15 and he will be on the club level.

Please RSVP so we know to keep an eye out for you!

An Organic Happy Hour

Friday, July 14th, 2006

Happy Hour

Originally uploaded by Monatopia.

All this housing stress (as well as living with someone who works out Ever Damn Day has me on a bit of a health kick and I’m taking Scott along with me kicking and screaming. Friday, I’m bringing you too. Don’t worry, there will be cocktails. Tasty cocktails infused with strawberries and pineapple, and of course.

We are heading to Farmer Brown’s at 5th and Market on Mason. For those of you from the land of East Bay, please take note that this one is half a block form the Powell Street bart. Those of you who are driving, head to the 5th and Howard or Folsom area (two long blocks away) and there is plenty of street parking. Farmer Brown’s offers great organic southern food, as well as the aforementioned tasty cocktails.

Check it out –

Maryann and I made a little reconnoissance mission last week and loved it. Even though the hood is a bit sketchy, once in side snacking and cocktailing and listening to the band, we felt like we were on a bit of a holiday.

Farmer Brown
25 Mason Street
Friday (the 30th) at 6:30 pm, although, I’m thinking I will get there early to save a good spot at the bar.

Please RSVP so we know how many seats to save!

P. S. Yes, I promise, I will get back on schedule soon so you don’t have to feel lonely on Friday afternoon cause I’ve heard the rumors of where that has landed you and it ain’t pretty! OH. Wait, maybe that was me. Nevermind.

Happy Hour Grand Slam

Friday, July 14th, 2006


Originally uploaded by Monatopia.

At least we can hope!

So, after having several people ask me what they had done to be removed from the Happy Hour list, I decided I had better send one out and let you all know that we are indeed here, still in the Embassy, just having a really busy change intense time. And most of all, no one has done anything to be removed from the list, athough, one of you needs a spanking.

If you want to know more, you have to come to this weeks Happy Hour at…. {Insert Random Phone Company Name} Park. I think it’s SPC this year. Either way, The Giants are there. So are the garlic fries.

We will be meeting on the Club Level on the balcony over looking the dreaded Momo’s at 6pm. We have seats in section 231, row D. You should be able to grab seats on Craigslist…

In case you’ve not been to the club level at the park, it’s pretty sweet. Private entrance, more bathrooms, full bar and an inside arcade so we don’t have to be cold while we watch the game. Or, don’t watch the game as the case may be.

Afterwards we will probably head over to KingFish across the street.

Let us know if you will be joining us so we can save you a spot!